Although the mental and emotional symptoms of limerence are the most obvious, its physiological manifestations are certainly no laughing matter either. Your craving for your limerent object (LO) isn’t just in your mind… It shows up in your chest, your throat, your stomach. Your body tenses when your LO’s name appears on your screen, and your heart drops when they vanish for a few days. Limerence can make you feel fatigued, affect your immune system, and even cause really troublesome stomach issues.

In one of MY worst limerent episodes years ago, I remember feeling like I couldn’t tolerate gluten or grains anymore. I was worried I was celiac, but luckily it was just stress that resolved itself when my emotional turmoil did.

Limerence has these physical effects because it’s a stressor. A pretty major one, too. Limerence keeps you in a state of near-constant activation, like you’re in the middle of an emotional emergency that never quite resolves. And the body can’t stay in that kind of heightened state without consequences.

Which is where the breath comes in. As a tool to support your main healing journey, not to replace it.

The Role of Breath in Calming the Limerent Mind

I’ve been experimenting with breathwork for a while myself, and finally feel ready to share it with you all. Initially, I’ll admit I was a little skeptical. I started using breathwork during a time when I was weirdly anxious about confrontation… like saying no to plans or chasing up an invoice. My body would overreact before anything had even happened, and I’d spend hours afterwards replaying it all in my head.

I didn’t think breathwork would help much, but I started trying it before moments I knew would set me off. And gradually, I noticed I wasn’t spiralling as badly. I felt a bit more calm, with more capacity. Enough that I kept going. And now, I don’t spiral at all. It was definitely ONE of several tools I used, but it was the one that I believe had the fastest relieving effects on my stress. So many others have had the same experience, and many of my friends are serious breathwork aficionados.

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The breath as a gentle intervention that’s accessible to all

You may have come across breathwork in the context of yoga, or maybe you’ve heard of the admirable Wim Hof and his techniques. But worry not, this isn’t about extremes or needing to adopt a whole new lifestyle.

Breathwork has long been linked to physical and mental wellbeing, from ancient practices to modern clinical settings. Research over the past few years has continued to highlight the impact of breath-based practices on mental health. A study published in Cell Reports Medicine found that practising just five minutes of breathwork each day over the course of a month led to noticeable improvements in mood and reductions in anxiety – often exceeding the benefits seen from the same daily dose of mindfulness meditation. And a review in Frontiers in Psychology highlighted how slow, intentional breathing helps reduce rumination and emotional reactivity by shifting the body out of a reactive, stress-driven state.

There’s also growing evidence that these practices help people navigating grief, attachment wounds, and heartbreak. Which makes sense – because the breath speaks directly to the parts of your brain that logical thought can’t reach.

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The role of breath in heartbreak and emotional obsession

One of the things that makes limerence so tricky is that you can’t just think your way out of it. You can understand exactly what’s happening, you can even write essays on it, and still feel utterly consumed. The thoughts just keep looping.

Breathwork won’t make your feelings for your limerent object (LO) disappear. That’s not its role – that’s what the rest of the recovery steps are for. But you need to learn to regulate your body through tools like exercise and breathwork to support this process… to be able to stick to the healing journey, even when it’s tough.

Breath gives your body something to do. In your current limerent state, it serves as a boundary between your internal experience and the emotional pull of your LO. Cliché as it may sound, it’s about choosing, for a few minutes, to not outsource your sense of safety to your LO’s availability. To give it to yourself instead!

And the best part is, your breath is always there. You don’t need a calm environment, incense or a perfect schedule. You need a few minutes and a willingness to pause. I’m writing this from a coffee shop, and I just did one of my own breathwork meditations here at my table!

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Some special breathwork meditations I’ve created for you

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been creating a small collection of breath-based meditations that I’ve had professionally recorded. They’re designed to help you come down gently from that hyperactivated state, and reconnect with your own body.

I think these will help you! I also predict you’ll become a convert like me, and will start using your breath to regulate your mood in all sorts of ways.

Here’s the link if you’d like to check them out: 🔗 Breathing meditations

With love,

Lucy