Some of us are far more obsessional and prone to rumination than others. In itself, this is not inherently ‘pathological’ or an issue; having an affinity for honing in on certain topics comes with many splendid advantages, enabling you to both a). pull off highly impressive personal and professional achievements and b). live life with a certain emotional richness that someone lacking your ‘intensity’ simply never will.
Limerence has a subtle, insidious way of entrapping you which extends beyond its impact on your mental health. In short, it is the fact that limerence feels so sentimentally meaningful that it can seem implausible, unfair and downright impossible to believe that it is something that you actually have to ‘get over’. In order to extirpate these doubts of yours, I am going to present you with a completely novel way of viewing limerence: as one of many *emergent phenomena* that your brain creates on a daily basis.
The foolproof way to alter the beliefs and assumptions you subscribe to is to communicate with your subconscious mind when it is most receptive. Right before you fall asleep, you are certain to catch your prime window of Alpha brain wave activity (8-12 Hz). In this state of relaxed wakefulness, your brain is extremely impressionable. Anything that you feel to be real during this time is taken by your brain as objective reality. This will induce the formation of new neural pathways and, consequentially, new stances towards yourself, others, romance and life.
I know that every single one of you will have had very different experiences with LOs. However, one thing that every single limerent has in common is the following: they believe that their LO is, in some marked way, more powerful than them.
After enduring limerence and recovering, you naturally start to observe people differently. Personality traits that you may once have admired and swept up in vague, intoxicating categories such as ‘exciting’, ‘intense’ and ‘fun’ are now character features that you can put precise labels on and whose less glamorous sides you can clearly see.
Today, we’re going to consider whether the first time that you wake up to the excruciating intensity of unrequited limerent...
Someone very emotionally moved by you will face you with a). receptivity and b). an open energy field; despite how shy or reserved they may be, their desire to merge with you (healthily and non-obsessively) will shine through any façade of being cool, calm and collected that they intend to uphold.
Today, we are going to confront an issue that can coincide with overcoming a painful limerent episode, which is the tendency to look back on this period of your life with immense regret and shame. Conquering limerence is dramatically easier than people realize, so it is understandable that you feel appalled and mortified at the injustice of having spent months or years trapped in an illusion that ended up being simple to escape. However, these low-frequency feelings will keep you a slave to limerence – I’m going to teach you how to transcend them and instead become truly grateful for the lessons that you have learned.
What if you are sure that you are ready to transform your concept of self and put in the necessary work, but you still occasionally break down and cry over your limerent object (LO)? Does that mean that you are destined to remain stuck in impossible, embarrassing, unrequited love? Absolutely not!
When I started this project, I knew I was committing to producing something that would render you completely immune to limerence. If you heed the advice in this book and commit to your own expansion, I can guarantee that you will never fall for an LO again.
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