Happy Valentine’s Day! But remember, today’s not just about romance – it’s also about capitalism. Marketers and media urge us to lean into our most intense feelings, packaging the idea of perfect love to sell chocolates, flowers, and dreamy getaways. The problem is, if you’re prone to limerence, that same hype can lead you astray.

When Your Gut Becomes a Misleading Guide

In this post, I wrote all about how we can’t trust our ‘instincts’ when we’re limerent. The very things that feel natural and authentic to us in the moment lead us atray, keeping us trapped in the loop of addition to our limerent object (LO).

We’re taught that our gut feelings are pure and trustworthy. But when you’re caught up in limerence, your intuition isn’t always your best friend. In those moments, every smile or text can feel like a sign of deep connection – even if it’s just a fleeting gesture. On a day when every ad and every card tells you to follow that feeling, it’s easy to get swept up in a fantasy that might not be real.

When limerence takes over, your intuition can turn into a siren, luring you into emotional storms.

That heightened state of emotion can mask the reality: the person you’re obsessing over might not be capable of offering the stable, healthy relationship you deserve.

The Pitfalls of Following Your Gut on Valentine’s Day

Here’s why trusting that gut feeling when you’re limerent can be dangerous:

• Overinflated Signals:
  A casual smile or a delayed reply may seem like a grand declaration of love—but in the limerence state, these signals are often magnified into something much larger than they really are.
• The Dopamine Trap:
  That rush of excitement can cloud your judgment, making it hard to see that what you’re chasing is more about a fleeting high than a lasting connection.
• Narrow Focus:
  When your emotional energy centers on one person, you risk missing out on the broader, balanced relationships that truly enrich your life… This hyperfixation is problematic in a real, healthy relationship, but is downright catastrophic when you’re not actually with the object of your desire.

A Way Forward: Balancing Logic with Emotion

So what can you do when the allure of Valentine’s Day pulls you toward a fantasy that might not be real? Here are a few practical steps:

1. Take a Moment:
   Before diving headlong into your feelings, ask yourself, “Is this really about them, or am I chasing a rush?” A little pause can help you break the cycle of idealization.
2. Question the Hype:
   Remember that the intensity you’re feeling is fueled by dopamine and your overactive reward system. Remember, “True connection is built on balanced passion, not on the erratic highs of obsession.”
   Let that thought remind you that your gut isn’t always telling the whole truth.
3. Expand Your Horizons:
   Invest in other relationships, hobbies, and self-care. The more varied your sources of joy, the less likely you are to pin all your hopes on one person.
4. Reflect Rationally:
   Develop a habit of checking in with yourself. Recognize when you’re filling an emotional void rather than seeking genuine compatibility.
5. Transform Your Subconscious Mind to Heal Permanently:
   Ultimately, overcoming limerence means growing into someone who doesn’t rely on obsessive attraction for validation. And this requires subconscious reprogramming that lets you step into a new self-concept… a new, entirely limerence-immune version of yourself.
   For all the steps, tricks and mindset shifts you’ll need to make, I recommend you read my three books on limerence. If you’re interested in healing as quickly as possibly, you can also check out the supplemental hypnoses and other tools I offer on this website. Ultimately, we want to target your limerence from as many angles as possible!

In Summary

So, here’s what I want you remember today. Valentine’s Day is designed to amplify our emotions, but that amplification isn’t always a sign of true love – it can be a recipe for obsession and disappointment. While society tells you to trust your gut, remember that in a limerent state, your instincts are often hijacked by the fantasy sold to you by the holiday’s hype.

This Valentine’s Day, try to challenge that instinct. Choose a balance of logic and feeling, and take steps to build relationships that are real and sustainable. In doing so, you’re not just avoiding a romantic trap -you’re setting the stage for a love that’s truly your own.

And, before you think you’re getting away easily, make sure to actually do the right self-work and become immune… so you’re not limerent over the same LO next Valentine’s Day, too!

As always, I’m here for you if you’d like to ask any questions. My email = neurosparkle@gmail.com

Lots of love, Lucy