Limerence is a psychological state characterized by an obsessive desire for emotional attachment to another person, combined with an intense fear of rejection or not being reciprocated. While limerence can be a source of great euphoria, it is never worth the suffering and destruction that it causes. However, in this article, we’re going to look at why every limerent possesses strength and power… even if they feel ‘weak’.
The late Claire Weekes, the modern pioneer of acceptance-based approaches to panic and anxiety, once said that “Strength can be born only from weakness. So be glad of your weaknesses now, they are the beginnings of your strength.” This sentiment is particularly relevant to limerence, as the intense emotions and feelings that come with it can FEEL like weaknesses. While subject to the highs and lows, you feel powerless and out of control. However, it is important to recognize that these emotions are not weaknesses in themselves, but rather they are a natural response to the human desire for connection and attachment.
Milton Erickson, widely considered the greatest therapist of all time, demonstrated over and over again that every problem contains within it a strength that can be utilized to solve that same problem, or to make life better in other ways.
Here are a few ways in which limerence, often seen as a weakness, can actually be a source of strength:
- Intense emotional connection: Limerence is characterized by an intense desire for emotional attachment to another person. This emotional intensity can be harnessed and used to build strong emotional connections with others in a variety of contexts, not just in romantic relationships.
- Capacity for love: Limerence is a powerful manifestation of the human desire for love and connection. This desire is a fundamental strength that drives many of our most important relationships and connections in life.
- Emotional resilience: Dealing with the intense emotions and feelings of limerence requires a great deal of emotional resilience. This resilience can be used to overcome other emotional challenges and difficulties in life.
- Creativity and passion: The intense emotions and feelings of limerence can also be a source of creativity and passion. Many great works of art, music, and literature have been inspired by intense emotional states like limerence.
- Motivation: Limerence can be a powerful motivator for personal growth and self-improvement. It forces you to meet your needs, rewire your subconscious mind, and achieve heights of bliss you never believed possible… because doing so is required to overcome limerence. And you get to a point where you simply NEED to overcome it, because it’s bleeding into all areas of your life.
In summary, while limerence is source of great emotional distress and suffering, it is also a manifestation of the human desire for emotional connection and attachment. By recognizing the strength within this intense emotional state, we can harness it to meet our needs, build stronger emotional connections with others, cultivate emotional resilience, and motivate personal growth and self-improvement.
I teach you how to eliminate it from your life permanently on this site, because no one should live with this pattern in their life. It simply isn’t worth it. If you’re someone capable of these feelings, you MUST become the version of yourself who isn’t susceptible to them. Who meets your own needs richly and diversely, and who taps into the unique emotions that you, personally, require to feel in love with life.
But, a critical part of limerence recovery is realizing and accepting that you are deeply powerful. That you have never been weak, because limerence is a passionate, momentum-filled, goal-oriented state. One you learn to rechannel your feelings towards constructing your dream self-concept and dream life, limerence will fall away like the illusion it is.