Reproduction is highly evolutionarily important, so it’s natural that we experience strong emotions in response to attraction – there’s no need to try and convince yourself that romantic relationships aren’t exciting to you, or a potential attractive partner isn’t enticing.
However, allow the higher part of you – the logical part of you that’s proactively choosing to recover from limerence – to frame romance more neutrally. Because it really and truly does NOT have to be a destabilising, drug-like facet of life.
All Limerents Think Love Is Inherently Tricky
A common limiting belief that many of us fall victim to, especially during times of limerence, is that romance holds a towering significance compared to other aspects of life. Limerents often feel destined to experience either heartbreak through limerence or settle for a mundane relationship until they find themselves limerent again.
Fortunately, this notion is entirely false – it’s perfectly possible for ALL limerence-prone folk to rise above the condition and to experience romance as something profound but normal, feasible, and not scary.
By allowing ourselves to experience the SPECIFIC emotions we deeply crave in diverse and personal ways, and by consciously reframing our feelings as less all-consuming, we liberate ourselves from the clutches of limerence. Your current LO starts to seem like a normal person, rather than a drug, and you become someone who is immune to falling to future LOs, too.
I won’t lie, there are multiple steps in this process – but my three books detail absolutely everything you need to know to emerge limerence-free.
How Should Love Feel?
Romance should be a normal, yet enchanting and beautiful aspect of life, something that feels extraordinary within the spectrum of human experiences. But it need not overpower other essential parts of our lives. By acknowledging this balance and freeing ourselves from the misconception that romance must be the central focus, we create space for a healthier, more grounded approach to relationships. Embracing the magic of romance while also recognizing that it is just one facet of life empowers us to live more fulfilled and authentic lives.
My Experience: From Limerent to Harmoniously Balanced
As you will know from my books, limerence dominated my life for years, but I’m certain I could never experience it again. I’m now in a long-term relationship that feels magical to me, and view my partner as someone I was incredibly blessed to meet… he makes my life more wonderful, but I never felt like I was on a potent stimulant all day when I first met him. Yet, for me, this isn’t settling; he’s incredibly clever, mischevious and abundant-mentality, exactly the type of person I would’ve fallen into the depths of limerence for all those years ago. But it’s different – healthy, real, and part of the whole that is my life.
You Are ENTIRELY Capable of Feeling Good About Romance
The path to achieving the changes I’ve experienced is within reach for everyone. It starts with recognising that healing from limerence is NOT an unattainable goal or exclusive privilege; it’s INEVITABLE for anyone willing to do the healing work.
In summary, this consists of:
- Subconscious rewiring
- Conscious attitude shifts
- Defining the best version of yourself and embodying their energy now
This is all explained in my three limerence books, available here on my website and on Amazon.
In addition to my books, I’ve crafted various hypnosis/meditation tools to make your recovery much more fun, quick and resistance-free; feel free to check these out too.
Final Note: Healing Can Never Be Forced
But I want to leave you with this message, right now: don’t just try and ‘forget’ your LO, because that never works; the brain won’t let you ‘forget’ something through coercion.
Instead, look to reconfigure your entire worldview in order to become someone who is no longer a ‘fit’ for limerence. Reconfigure your perception of yourself, other people including your LO, and romance in general.
Healing from a stubborn pattern like limerence requires massive action… it requires rowing the boat fiercely towards a new target: emotional liberation. And I’m committed to sharing everything I know that works, so you’re perfectly equipped to reach this place.