Happy summer season, everyone!
I’m writing this post to remind you of something that anyone trying to get over their limerent object must stay acutely aware of.
When you’re trying to heal from limerence, you want it to be all about the crazy emotions you’re currently feeling.
You want following and diving into that potent mix of pleasure and grief to lead you to clarity.
But it doesn’t.
Wallowing in your limerent emotions can never do anything but keep you EXACTLY where you are, enduring bouts of pain and longing.
In stark contrast, clarity and freedom comes from asking questions like:
- “What dynamic is implicit in this connection – what’s actually going on between me and my LO?”
- “Regardless of how unique/quirky/magical our connection feels right now, what red flags are present?”
- “Are they truly interested in me and trying to advance our relationship?”
- “If not, is this why their intermittent attention feels so euphoric?”
- “What about this person could make me furious a few months down the line?” (If you think ‘nothing’, think harder! Hint: this is probably the very trait that you love about them right now… and which you believe makes them unique!)
- “Is my obsession to do with them, or with how they make me feel?”
- “Why do they make me feel so special, and keep me hooked… what psychological experiences are they providing me with that I should be acquiring in more healthy ways?
You free yourself by committing to move past the old story and its associated emotions, leaning into logic and applying the correct psychological techniques to feel new, healing emotions.
This is what we call ‘rewiring your limerent brain’, and is the only thing that guarantees your complete recovery from obsessive love. When you reprogramme your subconscious AND conscious mind using infallible techniques, limerence simply dissolves as a natural consequence – for it cannot be sustained in the absence of its building blocks. No mental coercion or extra suffering required.
My two books detail how to do this, going into great detail and tackling separate facets of the recovery process: The Limerent Mind and 20 Disastrous Limerent Errors.
Both available worldwide on Amazon (and in PDF form here on my website – check header)! 🙂