As you’ll be acutely aware, active limerence is an agonising state. You miss your LO with what feels like your entire heart, and crave them like a drug. Nothing comes close to making you as euphoric as your LO.
If you’ve read my two books and free content, you’ll understand that this is NOT because they’re your ‘soulmate’. Or because they’re good for you, your ‘one chance at true love’, or any nonsense that your lovesick brain is flooding you with.
This intense attraction ONLY occurs because of your unmet psychological needs and detrimental belief systems, which prime you to fall limerent for YOUR specific LO. Their presence in your life somehow soothes these psychological weaknesses in you, causing you to feel this unsustainable, toxic obsession – when everyone else is able to view them entirely normally.
During the fleeting phases that you’re receiving ‘adequate’ attention from your LO, you’re on Cloud 9. Their energy, personality and way of communicating with you sends you manic like a crack addict. And, when they inevitably withdraw from the connection because they don’t feel the same intensity of emotion (OR are playing games with you), you’re pushed into a horrendous withdrawal that renders you truly dysfunctional.
Obviously, this cannot go on – you deserve to feel inspired, stable and happy on a daily basis. The recovery programme and attitude described in my books will allow you to accomplish this, and ensure that you never suffer from limerence again.
Why? Because they prompt your subconscious mind to reconfigure itself, making you a version of yourself that no longer has those voids that ‘call out’ to someone like your LO.
Because right now, a part of your nature is screaming for relief. It’s screaming to be heard by someone like your LO, for full emotional enmeshment with someone like your LO, and to spend 24/7 with someone like your LO.
A part of you is sending out signals that only your LO can reply to. When your LO isn’t feeding you with perceived reciprocation, you feel empty and like life has lost its colour. Ignore the Hollywood tropes – this is not ‘love’, nor a desire for love. It’s a pathological form of love that must be unlearnt.
How can you unlearn limerence? By committing to becoming a version of yourself that DOESN’T HAVE those elements of your personality that ‘scream out’ for someone like your LO. This is how you overcome your feelings for them while ALSO becoming immune to falling for future people like them that you may encounter.
Who’s your LO? Because every limerent has different psychological weaknesses, priming them to fall for different personality types. But, be assured, limerence is uniform in all sufferers. And every limerent can shake this pattern off for life if they transform into a version of themself that simply can’t be thrilled by their immature, inconsistent LO.
It’s simple, but emotionally challenging. However, it’s work that you simply MUST do – or your entire life will be coloured by limerence after limerence. You owe it to yourself to undergo this change and emerge different, stronger and immune to disruptive unrequited love.
Feel free to check out my healing limerence hypnosis, and my two complementary books (here and here).